2: Torturing plants is a personal hobby

[scaresplants]

[The SFC comes on, and the first thing you see are a row of potted plants standing on a desk. And they are gorgeous. Their leaves are a bright verdant green, and just looking at them could bring up thoughts of a magnificent forest. Some of them are even flowering, and the flowers are delicate and perfect in any way]

[For a while, no one pops up on screen, although you can hear someone cheerfully whistling "Another One Bites the Dust" by Queen in the background. Then, it stops, and Crowley comes on screen, looking rather chipper.]

Oh, yeah. Almost forgot. Does anyone know where I can find a plant mister? You know, one of those spray bottle things that can spray water. I've checked around, but all they seem to have are those large watering cans that really serve no purpose at all.

Thanks again. [He gives a curt wave, and walks off the screen, starting to whistle again. Torturing plants helps him keep his mind off of things.]

Comments

[video]

[scaresplants.livejournal.com]

[You could always ask the demon how to do that. you know. He won't bite.]

I kind of think that's the point. [Crowley sighs.] Man, of all the things I could use most right now, and they don't even have it. What a pity.

voice。

[benevolist.livejournal.com]

[ ... Yeah, well, he's a little busy hiding from angry Sons that want to rip his wings off ): ]

Couldn't you just... [ He waves his hand rather vaugly, but of course Crowley can't see it. ] Make one?

[scaresplants.livejournal.com]

[He perfectly understands. You could always hang around Crowley's place if you're really that worried, you know.]

[The demon looks thoughtful.] I could, but then again, I kind of like the challenge of finding one on my own. Help keeps my mind off of things.

[benevolist.livejournal.com]

[ There's a long pause. ]

Perhaps I could join you in your search, my dear. I'm quite certain having more... 'Manpower' would be useful.

[scaresplants.livejournal.com]

[Crowley pauses too.]

Hah, it'd be like an adventure or something. I could see it now- "Aziraphale and Crowley find the lost Plant Mister of Vatheon!". Totally a blockbuster.

[Another awkward pause.]...What I mean is, yes, that would be helpful.

[benevolist.livejournal.com]

[ A long pause then a chuckle. Really, Crowley? He almost can't believe you said that, but then again... ]

Then feel free to call when you decide to instigate the search for the "Lost Plant Mister of Vatheon", my dear.

[ Then there's a pause and a sort of embarrassed shuffling noise ]

Perhaps whilst we search you could teach me how to use this thing properly...?

[scaresplants.livejournal.com]

[Crowley just falls silent for a while, looking rather sheepish. Man, he just couldn't quite say no, could he?]

Uh, yeah, I'll definitely do that.

[The demon bursts into a grin.] I was expecting you would say that. Man, you just haven't caught up to technology, have you? Yes, yes, I'll help. Though next time, I'm going to make you learn it on your own, you know.

[benevolist.livejournal.com]

[ Aziraphale smiles, though Crowley can't see it. Trying to imagine being stuck here without his best friend makes him feel quite upset; he's so, so happy that Crowley is here. ]

Good - and thank you, my dear. I just don't understand the need for all the buttons and such. The telephone I had in my bookshop was more than enough.

[scaresplants.livejournal.com]

[The demon will never admit this, but if he didn't have the angel here, he wouldn't know what to do. He'd be so lonely that he wouldn't know how to cope with it, now that he thinks about it.]

There are buttons because they all have a purpose, angel. And no, they're not all numbers. Some of them are letters, too. Fascinating, isn't it?

[benevolist.livejournal.com]

[ Thank Go- Goodness for best friends. ]

But that's what the post is for! [ He actually sounds rather put out that someone wants to use technology over the wonderful postage system ]

[scaresplants.livejournal.com]

[The demon would raise a toast to that.]

No, no, no, angel. I meant letters of the alphabet. You know, A, B, and C? Up to Z?

Well, speaking of the post, snail mail became obsolete about, what, ten years ago? I mean, people still use it, but they send each other electronic mail now.

[benevolist.livejournal.com]

Oh. [ Well, he tells himself, that was an easy mistake to make. He doesn't sound very impressed with e-mail, though ] I still think the English postage system is far, far greater than... Electronic mail, was it?

[scaresplants.livejournal.com]

It's e-mail for short, angel. Almost everything is abbreviated nowadays.

Well, not many people think so, I'm afraid. I've even heard that people would rather read the newspaper online than read it as a hard copy. Even books are online now.

[benevolist.livejournal.com]

[ This is all too much for Aziraphale to take. ]

Crowley, please tell me you're joking. Why would anyone want to read a book on one of those ridiculous machines?

[scaresplants.livejournal.com]

What, would I ever lie to you? I really serious. A lot of people nowadays read books online. There's even this machine that you can download books on. Then, you can take it anywhere you go and read whatever you want.

[Oh, the demon's being so cruel, but he can't help it.] Maybe, someday there won't be anymore printed books. They'll all just be electronic.

[benevolist.livejournal.com]

No more printed books-!?

[ There's a long, long pause. The poor angel is trying to get to grips with this. After a moment of shocked pain he sighs quietly. ]

I suppose it may mean less people trying to buy my books.

[scaresplants.livejournal.com]

That's the spirit. No sense walking into a dark tunnel if you can't see the light at the end of it, am I right? Now, no one will bother you about your books, and you'll be free to do whatever you want with them.

[benevolist.livejournal.com]

[ He feels an odd sort of humour at the "light at the end of the tunnel" comment (that's one of his lines, normally) but he relaxes. ]

Yes, I suppose that's right, my dear. I'll still collect my books, however, and I will never resort to electronic mail so long as the postal service still accepts letters.

[scaresplants.livejournal.com]

[Hey, Crowley's an optimist. That's actually how he sees things.]

You know, you'll probably have only few years before that will happen. Best do everything as soon as you can, hmm?

[benevolist.livejournal.com]

[ He sighs. ]

Yes, well. One must learn to adapt sooner or later. I choose later.